If Only You Knew
by Drumingpanda
Summary: When Elena wakes up and realizes she's a vampire, her world isn't the only one that changes. What happens when she begins to remember all the things that Damon compelled her to forget? Is she still the person she always was? Or will she finally live again? Slightly AU/The plot of S4 will continue where it fits, and will dissolve where it doesn't. Plenty of Delena goodness.
1. Prologue — The Calm Before

**A/N: Hi guys! It's my first published work so please leave all the reviews and please be kind! I was going to originally write this as a series of oneshots, but there's just so much to unpack with our favorite couple and other places I've imagined the TVD plot could go. Obviously, I don't own VD and all credit goes to the appropriate sources, but where Damon Salvatore is concerned, I will take every liberty I can. Enjoy!**

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**PROLOGUE — The Calm Before**

**DAMON**

I would kill him if it weren't for the little fact that when Elena finally wakes up, I would have to be the one to tell her that Stefan's dead.

Of all the half-brained schemes my baby brother could have cavaliered, this one was taking the whole fucking cake.

"I did what I had to do, Damon," Stefan said sternly, pointing toward himself.

I have half a mind to break his self-righteous little finger off and feed it to him. I blink instead. See? Progress.

"You didn't do a damn thing, Stefan," I spit back, my eyes blazing. "How could you let her die?"

I think back to Alaric turning grey and cold in my arms. I can literally feel my blood getting hot with anger as I remember the feeling of heaving his dead body into the trunk of his car back at the storage unit.

I wasn't supposed to bury him. He wasn't supposed to die.

I couldn't breathe when the shock wore off and I realized that my best friend dying in my arms meant that somewhere back in Mystic Falls, so was Elena. And the last thing she said to me was goodbye. That she was going back to Stefan. That maybe if we had met first...If only I hadn't have been so selfless with her. If I could have made her remember the truth, maybe she wouldn't have felt the need to choose. She'd have known absolutely that I always loved her. Even from the start.

The love of my life was dead.

Tears still clung to my eyelashes as I stood over her lifeless body in the morgue. The void had been unbearable. And then she took a breath, and I swear she stole it right out of my dead chest.

Stefan's still talking. Seriously, who broke the part of his brain that signals when to take a damn hint?

"She asked me to save Matt, and that's what I did." He scoffed. "I respected her choice."

"I'm sure she had all the time in the world to reason with you while all the oxygen depleted from her brain."

Stefan was a fucking idiot. He had one job, and that job was loud and clear. Keep Elena alive. Even better, keep her ass human, like she wanted to be. All these moral high ground choices would be the epic destruction of Stefan's carefully constructed little soul. He was delusional if he thought for even a second that the decision he made would ever be okay.

Elena was a vampire. He fucked up. Big time.

I force myself to look at my brother. My depressing, brooding, shell of a brother. He was staring into his glass, gripping it too hard.

"Hey, lay off the crystal." I eye his hand wearily as his grip loosened. I check my watch. Two and half hours had gone by since we last checked on Elena, and I know she's going to be coming around soon.

"We should go check on Elena."

I start to move toward the door, draining my bourbon before placing my glass on the nearest shelf to the door. I barely feel the burn in my throat. I'm not sure any amount of bourbon could ease this feeling.

I turn, looking back at Stefan who is still rooted to the spot.

'_Cheer up, Buttercup, it can't get any worse.' _He really doesn't look good.

Rolling my eyes, I walk out the door and opened the door to the Camaro. I start the engine to make a point, and right after Stefan emerged from the house, pulling his jacket on. He slides in the car, his eyes locked on the driveway. I shift gears and pulled out onto the road.

I know he's going to try and break it to her gently. I know he's going to try to save his own life and spare hers. I know he's in agony, and I'm a little disturbed that it doesn't bother me. I can be mad at Stefan for the rest of eternity, but right now that isn't what really matters.

Elena is now the one thing she never wanted to be. And if I know Stefan, he's going to do everything he can to preserve her as the girl he met officially last year in the hallway of her high school. I know he's going to do everything he can to shield her from everything a vampire is, everything she could possibly be.

And now that she's a vampire, it also means she's going to remember. She's going to remember every encounter that I've made her forget, and I don't know why, but it terrifies me.

I decide as we pull up in front of her house that I'm going to need a hell of a lot more bourbon. It's going to be a long fucking day.


	2. Chapter One — DOA

**CHAPTER ONE — DOA**

**DAMON**

I'm sitting where I always sit when I want to make sure Elena's okay. She never closes this damn window, which I'll never understand. When people want to kidnap you and turn you into a human blood bag, you proceed with caution. When they actually kidnap you and drain you of almost all of your blood, you proceed with extra-caution. Stakes in your high school classroom and a Bennett witch in your back pocket sized caution. Unless you're Elena Gilbert. This girl bulldozes caution signs.

The sun is helping me keep my senses grounded. I haven't moved a muscle since we walked into her room. I can hear her heart beating sluggishly in her chest. I think I can feel mine breaking a little. I'm brave enough to glance at her face, and she's beautiful.

Stefan is holding her hand. I don't think he's taken a breath, either. This is just painful.

I look back to Elena and mentally prepare myself for what we're about to do. She's not going to have any fucking clue what's going on when she first wakes up, and I'm going to have to not lose my shit again when she loses hers, and I know Elena. She's going to blow a fucking gasket.

My eyes rivet to her eyelids. I can see her eyes moving underneath her closed lids and hear her slow heart speed up slightly. Stefan tenses at her side, his hand stilled on hers.

I watch, unmoving as Elena shifts slightly, and then gasps as she sits up straight. I don't dare say a word.

**ELENA**

I can hear a lawnmower somewhere in the distance. The sound is drowned out by a fire truck that seems like it's way too close for comfort. Is my house on fire? In another wave, I hear a child crying in a bedroom, and four different kinds of birds chirping outside my window.

My vision blurs as I sit up.

_Why does everything feel like it's moving so fast?_

My eyes dart to the right as I look toward my bathroom door, and they stop when I see Stefan.

_Have his eyes always been that green?_

I look at his hand on mine and I can feel the ridges in his fingertips.

_What the hell is going on?_

"Stefan...?" I ask hesitantly, slinking away from him. I'm stopped by my headboard. I can hear it groan softly under my weight.

"Hey," he says softly, leaning toward me. He smells like the woods, and frankincense, and something I can't place, but it makes the skin around my eyes ache.

I'm struggling to catch my breath and he reaches out to touch my hand again. I flinch.

"I'm right here," he says. "You've been in and out for hours."

"What—what happened?" I ask desperately. My brain feels like it's in a dense fog and I'm trying to remember the last 24 hours. All I can remember are bright lights, and screaming.

"You were in an accident."

And then I remember.

I was screaming at Matt as he drove off of Wickery Bridge to avoid hitting someone. I remember the water filling the car, my lungs. I remember sinking.

"Oh my God," I gasp, my senses overloading again. "Matt! is he —" I start.

"Alive?"

My head snaps in the direction of the new voice in the room. My eyes lock on Damon. When did he get here? Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he look like he's in agony?

I can't read his expression but his voice sends a shiver down my spine.

"Ask Stefan, the hero." I look back at Stefan, confused.

"He's fine." He smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes.

I exhale, breathing out a lot of tension I'm holding in my shoulders. My body feels different.

"Thank you." Matt was okay. My entire body sags under the relief.

Another memory slams my mind and I'm shaking my head at Stefan and pointing to Matt. I told Stefan to save Matt, and there was only enough time left to get one of us out. So if Stefan saved Matt like I asked him to then how I was I still here?

"But how?" I started, anxiety creeping into my chest. "I thought that I—" I couldn't speak straight, reality hitting me like a freight train. "How did you..."

"Save you? He didn't."

Damon's words hit my chest at one hundred miles per hour. This was a dream. It had to be. This couldn't be real. It wasn't possible. This was a really, really, really bad dream. I must be on drugs. I look at Damon, and see the truth written on his face. The eyes that stared back at me were furious.

I look back at Stefan. Someone better start talking. I can't be a vampire and I'm frustrated that I can't remember all the details. It makes my brain hurt.

"When Jeremy brought you to the hospital before all of this happened, your injuries were worse than anyone knew. Meredith Fell made a choice. She used Damon's blood to heal you."

"And when Rebekah ran Matt's truck off the road, you had vampire blood in your system, Elena."

I can't breathe. I feel tears stinging my eyes as I look frantically back at Stefan. The birds are getting louder again, and I can hear my heart beat accelerating. The light from the window is getting brighter and it's getting hard for me to keep my voice straight. I hate it.

"Oh my God. Does —does that mean that I—I—am I dead?"

The silence lasts a beat too long. My panic is giving way to fury and I'm afraid of how emotional I feel. My skin is hot, and my mouth is dry, and for some reason Stefan's sad eyes send a surge of anger through me. I'm not supposed to be here.

Stefan doesn't answer. My insides lurch.

"No...no, no, no! That was—that wasn't supposed to happen!"

Stefan snaps his head up and looks at me. The hopeful look in his eyes make me sick.

**DAMON**

"Maybe it doesn't have to. I talked to Bonnie. She said she's stronger than ever. There might be something she can do to help you."

And this, right here is the reason I made sure I was around when Elena woke up. She's been in transition for six hours and Stefan is already trying to fill her mind with false hope. There's never been a vampire who didn't feed or die, and as much as I'd love for Elena to be an exception, I know she's not. So why play pretend and drag out the inevitable?

"No, the only thing that's going to help is for you to feed and complete the transition."

"She has all day to feed, Damon." The way Stefan emphasizes my name urges me to rip his lithe little tongue right out of his mouth. "That's a day to exhaust every possible way out of this."

When I look back at him, I can't hide the danger that's lurking just beneath the surface. I've been a good boy but I'm about to lose my shit and I'd rather not do it in front of what I can tell is a very emotional, transitioning Elena.

"There is no way out of it! We all know the drill—you feed or you die. There is no door number three." I look at Elena, and although I know my expression won't break, my heart does.

I can see how this ends.

When Stefan tries — and fails — to keep her from this life she's now in, I'll be there to pick up the messy pieces. Before this is over, I know Elena is going to come to me, because the only person who probably makes a worse vampire than what Stefan is going to try to make her out to be, is Stefan himself. And all of the things he's going to try and protect her from, she's going to have to deal with eventually. And I know for damn sure, that if she's going to have to live this life with us, then I'm sure as hell going to do everything in my damn power to make sure she's the best version of it that she can be.

"I was ready to die," Elena cries.

I flex my hands to avoid breaking something in her room. I really need to get out of here. "I was supposed to die. I don't—I don't want—I can't be a vampire! If there's something that Bonnie can do, we have to try."

"We will," I hear Saint Stefan promise. Give me a fucking break. "We'll try everything."

I don't know who this proverbial "we" is because I sure as hell was about to just cut to the chase.

I need to go shopping. That, on my newly found list of things to do — after taking a long drink from a tri-delt and stopping by Elena's kitchen for the bourbon I kept in the cabinet for a much needed afternoon cap — was priority number one.

"It's your choice, Elena," I resign, standing up and coolly giving her a once over. She really is going to need to feed. She looks like hell.

I give her a knowing look as I head toward the door. "As always."

I walk out of the room without another look as she gasps for breath behind me. Stefan can deal with her tears. As always, I'll handle everything that comes after that.

She won't go down this road for nothing. Dead or alive, I will always choose her.


	3. Chapter Two — Means To An End

**CHAPTER TWO — MEANS TO AN END**

**DAMON**

I'm going to pretend like Stefan is still upstairs consoling Elena and not standing behind me, interrupting me with his breathing. He needs to take a hint, and quick.

"Way to get her hopes up for something that's literally never happened in the history of vampirism."

I pour myself a liberal glass. I swallow it in one gulp.

"You know what? You weren't there the day Elena looked me in the eye and told me that she absolutely never wanted this."

Well. Bravo, brother. Add that conversation to your long list of fuckery.

"Then you shouldn't have let her die."

"I never meant for her to die. She asked me to help Matt first and I did."

That was Stefan's problem. His desire to always give Elena a say and even worse do what she says when she could end up dead is exactly why we have to deal with her like this now. Dead. Which she didn't have to be _if_ Stefan used his actual brain to think. Who cares if one half of Dumb and Dumber bites it?

"And now the world has one more quarterback. Bravo, brother." I smirk at Stefan, lifting the bottle in mock salute.

"I made a choice," he takes a step closer to me and I swear if he gets any closer I will break an island stool over his muddled cranium. "That I will regret for the rest of my life."

I look at him, curious.

"Now let me try to fix it."

He is as dumb as he looks. I take another swig of bourbon before sticking the glass in the sink.

Good luck, brother.

I glance over at the clock on the stove and it reads 12:22. I've got about eleven and a half hours before Elena needs to feed. I'm definitely not going to spend that time staring at her sad face. She can mope at Stefan.

I look up at the ceiling, listening. I can hear her heart beating but she doesn't sound like she's moving. She'll be okay. I grab my keys off of the counter and loop them around my finger.

I need to go see a witch about a ring.

—

Richmond is only an hour away but for the first time the drive feels like it's taking forever. The city is cold and dirty, and ever since the 80's I haven't really spent much time here. But today, Richmond has become a beacon of light in a dark, dark world. In a shop off of Broad Street is a place I never hoped I'd have to come back to. Especially not under these circumstances.

But first, lunch. I need to feed. If I think about this whole fucked up situation for too long, I start getting angry again, and I'm already enough when I'm pissed, let alone hungry. Blood bags aren't going to cut it for me. Not today at least.

The campus of VCU was crawling with students headed back to their dorms after afternoon classes let out. I strolled over to the walkway that led toward the junior apartments.

A small girl with curly blond hair is furiously typing a message on her cell phone as she heads straight toward me without looking. Perfect.

I hold out my arms to brace the impact of her crashing into me. She looks up into my eyes, startled, and I smiled easily.

"Woah, there. Almost lost your foot."

She blinks, dazed as I captured her stare. "Don't be afraid," I say softly, as I run my hand down her arm softly.

Her stance softens at my words. My smile grows. "Follow me. Don't ask questions."

I lead her off to the side of the building blocking my face from the security camera on the side. She looks up at me expectantly, her phone still mid-message. I brush her hair off the side of her neck and feel as her pulse quickens beneath my fingertips. I let my fangs drop as I feel the heat rush to my face and throat, suddenly burning wildly.

"Don't scream, this isn't going to hurt." I smile, as I watch her expression change into that of awed horror. I lower my face to her neck, breathing in the scent of her blood. I feel the first drops of liquid hit my tongue as her body melds into mine. I take a deep pull, feeling the hot liquid begin the quench the fire raging in the back of my mouth. I swipe my tongue over the area. It stops me from getting messy and from the new scent that hits my nose, apparently it's getting Barbie Lite off.

I take another long pull and I feel her chest vibrate softly as she moans. Elena's face flashes in my mind and I slow to a stop. I pull back as her eyes flutter open dazed. She stares up at me, waiting.

I stare at her for a moment before biting my wrist and holding it up to her mouth. "Drink," I say lowly. She lunges for my arm and I wince as she sucks the blood from my vein. I see the marks on her neck close and I shake my arm away. Pulling her shoulders to face me I look at her.

"Forget this happened. Go to class and pay more attention to where you're walking." I let her go and whoosh around the corner.

I continue my walk past the dormitories and end up on Broad Street. Taking a right, I open the door to a worn down shop on the corner.

Door chimes tinkle as I step inside, and my eyes adjust. Blackout curtains have been placed on all the windows, and the only light is from a few dim lamps placed around the room. I make my way to a register in the back of the shop and look around, listening. I can hear a heartbeat upstairs so I ring the little bell next to the cup of pens sitting by the register.

"Hello?" I call out. I can hear the footsteps coming closer as the inhabitant makes their way down the stairs and out from a back room.

I smile as a blond haired, blue eyed woman with a kind face emerges.

"Damon?" She says.

"Always the tone of disbelief, Cami." I say smoothly. "Good to see you too."

"What are you doing here?" She shakes her head, still not believing what she was seeing.

"I, my sweet girl, have come to pick up something I left here a long time ago for safe keeping."

I could see her expression change as she began to study my expression. I leave my face blank and prop an eyebrow at her.

"I know I look great, Camille, but I came here for the ring."

"God forbid you come back for anything else," she huffs, reaching a hand out to feel the wall to the right of the register.

She's still hurt. Cami was one of the things I left back in the eighties, but I can tell from her demeanor she never really moved past it. Nostalgia's a bitch. At least she's always here for me when I come back.

She pulls a panel out of place and removes a small black velvet box. She places it on the counter and replaces the paneling.

I pick up the box slowly, and pull back the lid. The ring inside shines back at me, as clean as the day that I dropped it off here. A single oval of lapis lazuli sits in a four prong setting with two tiny diamonds on either side. An intricate vine etches around the inside of the band, hidden from eye. The silver on the band catches the dim light and a diamond splashes color over my eyes, my hands, and the wall behind me.

I thumb the stone, and my heart skips. I never really thought I would see the day when I would ever need this. That's why I left it here, in Richmond, where I spend as little time as possible. This ring had been with me since 1864. Since I died and found it in a box my Mother kept under a loose floorboard in the closet she once shared with my Father. A ring I planned to keep until the day I saw Katherine again. I planned to find a witch to turn it into a daylight ring, and then I would give it to her as a token of my love for her.

And then I did see Katherine again, and that bitch sure as hell didn't deserve the ring. Little did I know she had amassed so many others during the time I thought she was laying desiccated in a tomb. As much as the thought of Elena as a vampire made my mind spin through possibilities I had deemed just downright impossible, the thought that I should probably be ready just in case was all the more important after Klaus tried to kill her in hybrid-factory sacrifice. So, I left the ring in Richmond for safekeeping. Just in case.

I wouldn't let the odds stack against me. Not again.

I snap the lid shut and put on a sexy smile for my favorite old college girl.

"It's nothing personal, Cam. Richmond just isn't my thing. But it is yours." I gaze at her until I can hear her heart begin to race, and I reach out a hand and softly tuck a hair behind her ear.

"I'm moving to New Orleans," she said finally, clearing her throat.

"Is that so?" I say softly, eyeing her.

"I accepted a position at Tulane, and I'll be working at Rousseau's. If you're ever in town."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Did you find her?" She calls out to my retreating back. "Katherine?"

I stop for a moment in the doorway, my thumb grazing the box in my jacket pocket.

"That's who it's for, right? The ring? Why you're back in Virginia?"

"I don't know who you're talking about," I say just loud enough for her to hear.

And then I'm gone.

**ELENA**

I finally find my legs and push back the covers on the bed. I walk over to my dresser, and wince as I look up at my reflection. I feel like myself, but also not. My body feels malleable, languid almost. My gums ache. My brain is on fire. That buzzing sound won't stop. Where is it coming from? I glance down to the lamp lit on my dresser. God, that thing is _loud._

I can hear him before he even reaches my door. I feel my heart sink a little, and the emotion tsunami comes back again in a full wave. I really need to get a grip. I don't know how I'm going to make it if I'm going to feel everything this intensely. Right now though, Jeremy needs to see me strong. I need to be his sister. The one I've always been. The one that I hope I can still be, even when this is all over.

"Jer_," _I sigh, walking over to him.

His arms are around me and for a moment I feel better. As I pull away, I hear it. His pulse. His breathing is slow and calm. My gums ache again. I do not need to be thinking about my brother's pulse right now. He's your brother, Elena. Get a grip.

"Are you okay?" Jeremy asks, looking concerned. I can see the lines on his forehead. He shouldn't have to be concerned. Oh, Jeremy. "I watched Vicki go though this. She was a mess. Her emotions were all lover the place. All of these old memories came flooding back."

I saw the flash of bright lights in my mind again. I saw me, shaking my head at Stefan. Then I saw myself, on the phone, talking to my Mom the night we drove off the bridge. I hear Jeremy's sigh and it pulls me back to reality. What was that about?

"I'm fine," I say more confidently than I feel. "I'm not Vicki."

Jeremy scoffs. " No, you're not," he agrees. "You're you. You act like everything's okay so no one worries about you, but you need help."

I can't deal with this right now. Anger sparks in my stomach and before I can control it, I can feel my body vibrating with irritation. It takes all of my control not to break something. I try and take a deep breath, but all I can smell is Jeremy. I want to scream.

"I said I'm fine, okay?" I snap at Jeremy. He raises his eyebrows at me. The anger sparks again at the knowing look in his eyes. I don't need this right now. He can't help me, as much as he wants to. Damon and Stefan can help. Hopefully, Bonnie can, too. Bonnie...

"I—I'm sorry, I — have you talked to Bonnie?"

"Yeah. She said when I was shot she made some plea to the witch spirits to bring me back and they listened."

No. No. Bonnie can't put herself in danger to help me. That isn't the solution. That's never the solution. I think back to what Stefan said a little while ago and the fury returns. He better not have asked Bonnie to do anything to hut herself to help me or I swear, I could kill him. I exhale slowly. Wow, Elena. Haven't even completed the transition and you're already thinking about killing someone. Someone please, help me.

"Yeah," I manage, looking at Jeremy. "But the consequences were horrible."

"And what could be more horrible than you turning into a vampire?" I make the mistake of catching his eye when he says it. I can feel the sadness radiating from him. "I need my sister. Not another one of them."

I have to hold on. My brother needs me. My sweet baby brother who should have never been dragged into any of this. Who only needs the baggage of losing his parents. Who has buried just as many people as I have recently. My brother who died. Twice. My brother who came back to life. My brother...the only family I have left. I need him, too.

"We're going to find a way out of this," I assure him, focusing on my breathing. My breaths are very slow. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I hope so." Jeremy stares at me for a moment longer before walking back into his room.

A wave of sadness crashes into me as I turn back into my room. I can hear the baby somewhere down the street, still crying inconsolably. I feel you, kid. I hear the birds get louder again, and the buzzing from the lamp coupled with the bright light it's giving off sets me off. I just need quiet. There's too much damn noise. The buzzing gets louder as I approach the lamp, rubbing my temple to help calm myself. I'm going to lose it. I rip the lampshade off of the lamp as my gums throb again, painfully. I flex my jaw and grab the bulb. It's barely warm in my hand.

I think back to Stefan, and how he promised that he and Bonnie would try everything they could to make sure I didn't have to feed. I think about Damon, and how I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe a word Stefan was saying, and I think about how right now, I'm not sure if I do either. I think about Jeremy, and how he looked at me. Almost as if I wasn't the same girl he had known his entire life. I wonder how many other people will give me that same look.

I break the bulb with my bare hand and the buzzing finally stops. I stare down at my hand, and look at the cuts that were already starting to heal. I pull a small shard of glass out of my palm and realize that it didn't even hurt.

If only it felt like this every time something broke around me.

Not like pain, but like power. Not like scars, but like it had never really happened at all.

**BONNIE**

I reach into my back pocket and pull out my phone as I juggle a bag of produce in the other hand. I'm pretty sure I read an article that women shouldn't be distracted when they're in a parking lot because that's how they end up getting kidnapped but then again, most women aren't witches. For the balancing act I've got going on, this phone call better be worth it.

"What?" I say impatiently as I accept Damon's call.

"Bon Bon!" He says happily. "It's nice to hear your voice as well."

"I'm busy, Damon," I huff as I unlock the car and place the bag on the backseat.

"Well, you're going to wanna make time for this Witchy." His tone turns serious.

"Damon, what's going on?"

"I'm driving back to Mystic Falls from Richmond. Should be there in about an hour. You see, now that we have an almost full newbie vampire on our hands, said newbie is going to need something to help her stay alive. Something outside of the warm pulse of a friendly neighborhood volunteer. I have half of the solution for Elena's new daylight problem. You, Bonnie Bennett, have the second half. Witchy woo."

I can hear Damon smiling to himself.

"Why did you need to go Richmond for a ring," I ask.

"Saw it on Pinterest. Thought it was cute."

"Whatever," I say, starting my car and backing out of the parking lot. All dodgy kidnappers avoided. Great work, Bennett. "You can meet me at my house when you get here. I'll be home."

"See you in an hour, Sabrina."

My screen goes black as Damon ends the call.

Damon.

As much as Damon made decisions that made me serious question his sanity, he's also always been there for Elena. He's even been there for me. His methods, definitely questionable. But his intentions, surprisingly pure. I still think he's an ass. But he definitely does something for my friend that I've never seen. A feeling creeps into my bones as I think on this and I shake my head. Definitely it going there right now.

I pull into the driveway and unload my groceries. I measure out some coffee beans and send it through the grinder. I boil some water and sweep the Grimoire off the counter. This was going to take some serious magic. Magic I don't have access to and not to sure how to get. In the corner of the page on 'Magic for Immortals' I see a name scribbled beneath the title: Quetsiyah. I had seen that name before. It was so different. But where? And why are her notes on the page about immortal creatures? Heavy emphasis on the vampires.

It's not until Damon knocks on the door and my arm jerks that I notice I spaced out. Huh. Quetsiyah. I shake my head as I rub an eye and open the door. Damon flashes a smile and waves a small black box as he takes a step past me.

"Bonnie Bennett, thank you for coming to the rescue. Again." He bows dramatically.

I look at him and raise an eyebrow.

"Uh...huh," I say slowly, taking the box out of hand and walking into the dining room.

I flip open the box as the flames ignite and flicker around the room. I look down and gasp.

**DAMON**

"Listen, Inspector Gadget," I said, taking the box back from Bonnie and snapping it shut. "It's already tried by fire. We're good. I just need to make sure that when Elena wears it, she won't die by fire." I smile and casually hand the box back to Bonnie.

"No, Damon," she says slowly. "I wasn't judging the ring. I was just a little surprised." She shrugs. "It's beautiful."

I don't look at her. "Yeah, well, the girl needs a ring. May as well not be hideous."

I didn't come here to talk. Especially not to Witchy Wonder. The Witch is a good frenemy at best. She's a better friend to Elena than Caroline, and she sure as hell knows how to stand up for herself. She's got spunk, I like it. But she's also like, too spot on sometimes, and that's what makes my collar itch.

I look up and see that she's closed her eyes and she's muttering to herself holding Elena's ring in her hand. The flames flicker out a few moments later and she opens her eyes and hands the ring to me.

"Done."

I look at it. "How do I know it works?"

"Put it on and go walk outside," she flashes heated eyes in my direction.

"I trust you, alright?" I only want to be getting into my scheduled fights today. Nothing spontaneous and definitely not with Bonnie.

I place the ring back in the box and run my thumb over the velvet. She'd need this soon. The thought that she wasn't going to get it from me makes me want to crush it with my bare hand, but only for a moment. I've really been looking for healthier outlets for my rage. It's working, mostly.

As I slip the ring back into my pocket, I can see Bonnie staring through my soul. I relax my face and cock an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"I just find it very interesting that it's you here making sure Elena has a daylight ring and not Stefan," she laughs. "It just makes you wonder, you know? Like, why?"

She smiles and scoffs. "Is it because Damon couldn't wait for this moment? Finally, he'd get Elena to be like him. Or maybe Stefan didn't ask because he'd rather let Elena choose to die than see her become like him? Or maybe it's both, maybe...they're the same thing. Or maybe it's none of those. Maybe it's all of them?"

She looks down at her hands before nodding and looking at me.

"In the end, I know you'd do everything you could for Elena. Anything before this doesn't really matter, does it?" She shrugs. "I just know that when you're around Damon, my friend Elena, she's different. She's not sad, and she's not lonely, and she's not crying. She's the girl I knew before her parents died and she didn't. She's alive with you, and despite everything, that's a reason I can look past how much you really get on my nerves."

I stare at Bonnie. I'm mad for a moment as she tells me I wanted Elena to be like me. I don't want Elena to be like me. I want her to be the best of whatever she is, and I want to help her do it. Elena is all of the things I am not and this is why she fits so perfectly. She fills all those places I can't quite reach, and she heals them with her presence. I just need her alive.

I blink. "Yeah, uh...thanks, Bon."

I turn slowly to leave. Right now my mouth isn't really connected to my brain.

"Why is it so hard to believe?" I snap my head in her direction. "That I would make sure she had a ring?"

"I don't find it hard to believe that you did. I'm surprised Stefan didn't."

Because Stefan is a delusional fool, and I am a raging masochist.

"You're not going to give it to her are you," she asks to my back.

I turn my head and look at her, and then look down.

"You're going to give it to Stefan," she gasps and leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. "Wow," she says, shaking her head in disbelief.

"That is...," she trails off still shaking her head. "Noble," she laughs.

"Wow, Damon. I am just — I'm — I just can't believe it."

I turn back around and slowly walk toward the door without a word. Thanks for the reminder, Sabrina.

Bonnie calls after me. "These are those moments where you really shine. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

I turn the knob and open the door. As I cross the threshold and go to shut the door I hear her, barely a whisper.

"I'm so sorry you have to watch your heart break."

I stop for a moment on the stoop and glance back at the closed door. I flex my jaw and unlock the Camaro. Sliding into the seat, I start the car and catch my reflection in the rear view mirror.

My life is a fucking tragedy. And all I can do is laugh bitterly about it. Mostly because right now, this feeling I'm feeling, this cusp between despair and rage, is a place I simmer most often. And right now, it needed a little spark to ignite.

I ease into gear and drive. Time to have a talk with my baby brother.

* * *

_A/N: I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has liked and followed this story so far! Please please leave a review and let me know what you think! I want to hear from you and it definitely motivates me to write more. I will be starting another story soon for TVD universe and I'm super pumped for it. I plan to have another chapter or two of this story and the first two chapters of that story simmering on here by the time New Years greets us. Until then, happy 2020! _

_xx._


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